We automatically count the match if a player is named "I like Turtles".
Err, sorry - see the FAQ: http://dotabuff.com/pages/faq
Well the FAQ is pretty much lying.
"We have developed an in-house algorithm that has over 99% accuracy, but it cannot be sure in all situations."
In my experience it counts a match every time 10 heroes have been picked and played, even if there are zero kills. Dotabuff has given me an extra 2-4 on my record because of this. The algorithm in it's current state is very crude and probably only 2/3rds accurate. Adding a couple simple rules like, "If, game length < 5 & kills = 0, then no stats recorded" would greatly increase the accuracy.
In fact, the algorithm is way more extensive than what you suggest. Unfortunately, a lot of the time when someone disconnects before first blood, the leaver or someone else still dies and causes first blood before the disconnect is considered an abandon, and we have no way of getting the respective times (so we don't know if it was first blood -> disconnect or disconnect -> first blood).
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http://dotabuff.com/matches/331658707
This was an early abandon no stats recorded :P