The Dangers of Introducing Your Partner To Dota

It’s that time of the year again, it’s Valentine’s Day. It’s the time to think of your significant other, to appreciate them. For many couples, gaming is a large part of their relationship. It’s a common passion and some have even gotten to know each other through gaming.

Some however, enjoy this gaming passion alone, though often think about sharing it with their significant other. If the significant other is not into gaming at all, some console games and light co-op games are usually a good way to get them into it--Portal 2 is often referred to in these scenarios.

When that step was successful, some think about introducing their SO’s to more in-depth games, potentially even Dota2. Is that such a good idea?

A Steep Learning Curve

Ah yes, the infamous steep learning curve. Every gamer that has attempted or even thought about learning to play Dota has been warned about this. Over 100 heroes, over 400 spells, various mechanics and interactions make it difficult to really understand Dota in its intricacies. Even if one has experience from other MOBA/ARTS games, they’ll still find themselves troubled over the complexity that is Dota 2.

As great as it may be to have all that knowledge already, it is straight up painful to try and pass that knowledge onto somebody else. Imagine climbing a mountain, only to try and get somebody at the foot of the mountain up to you--someone who doesn’t have any climbing experience. That’s what teaching someone Dota 2 is like.

There are some fundamental pieces of information that, unless you’re an experienced beginner’s coach, seem so basic that you won’t immediately think of them when trying to guide someone through a game.

Now, yes, teaching someone Dota is difficult, but not impossible--so why not try? Plenty of reasons really.

Dota is, while mechanically challenging, also a mentally challenging one. Perseverance and patience go a long way in surviving in Dota and even if you can look past all the difficulties, the set-backs, the elitist community, can your SO?

Every bit of frustration that you feel and express is likely going to hurt the experience of gaming together, which is what it should be all about.

Dota brings out the worst in people

Even if you have successfully taught your SO Dota, odds are they’ll be considerably worse than you for the longest time, unless they’re the next SumaiL. There are certain things that you can only pick up through time, something that players were dearly reminded of during the recent overhaul of the UI and shop interface when everything changed and veterans had to adapt again.

Think back to the moment you were frustrated with Valve’s choice to change everything. The pesky shop and its unnatural and unintuitive design, the lack of CS at the bottom right. Imagine this very frustration and struggle over and over again. That’s what learning Dota feels like, roughly.

If they however understand the game at a basic level, it might be best for them to make their own friends in the game, make their own experiences.

Just looking at the professional scene, it becomes obvious that in Dota, or competitive gaming in general, people often need other people with a similar mindset and attitude for the game to be successful. Can you really enjoy Dota with somebody that thinks you should build Phase Boots on TA when you are determined that it should be Treads?

Even the best friends or the closest soulmates will have their different opinions regarding the game, and when the discrepancy in skill is big enough, those opinions can be vastly different as well.

It is when those opinions clash that the worst side of a person’s personality shines through. Who here, reading this blog, has never flamed a teammate? They shall throw the first Mango.

Dota can and will likely bring out the worst side of people. Are you ready to experience the worst side of your SO during something that should be a shared passion between the two of you?

True test of character

At the end of the day, there is no general rule here. You, and probably only you, should know best if it’s a good idea to teach your significant other how to play Dota. You should also be open about the difficulties of trying to learn the game. Teach your SO everything you wish people had told you when you started the game. Like how recipes are recipes because they need the ingredients to be complete…..

Dota is still supposed to be fun, be it for you or for your SO. If both of you are having fun playing it, then that is awesome. But if one of you realizes that it isn’t as much fun anymore, don’t be afraid to voice that concern.

If, despite reading all of this, you still wish to teach your SO about Dota, then maybe this can help. Good luck, have fun!

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55 comments
Аниме на Аве — Мать в Канаве

    Sell a garage

    This comment was edited
    ayy

      2nd.

      PinkGuyFan

        Thanks for reminding me im gonna die alone

        This comment was edited
        Morgan Freefarm

          dota is life. hahahahaha!

          Dahr(Yawg karatle)

            Im gonna be a Electrical Engr someday and they will call me Zues.It hits me so badly,hahaha

            No.

              Woooo.

              fx(god mode on)

                7nd.

                Blue^13

                  Dota is life coz I don't have a life

                  Admiral Snackbar

                    I taught my GF DOTA when we were dating ( I think it was after like 6 months of dating) and she enjoyed the challenge! She has also helped me to be less of a salty douche when my teammate's are doing bad.

                    (We are now happily married :D)

                    mid or m!d

                      здарова

                      Sarllo

                        "DOTA BRINGS OUT THE WORST OF PEOPLE".. exactly that my friend told me when teaching how to play 3 years ago hahahaha

                        Chinese Doto

                          Heh it's only about first 2000h to get the basics tho.

                          Best Weaver SEA

                            I always play with my GF
                            That's right
                            My left hand is my GF

                            Kyliti ot Papyliti

                              sims good

                              time

                                This post is like telling someone who's starving that eating alot is bad.

                                Bl[A]ze

                                  Why sumail?

                                  pezy

                                    Well sumail is a unique player, being very young and talented at the game, he's accumulated quite the wealth from the competitive scene, over $2 million, including him being in a TI Champion team.

                                    is hot

                                      Dots is my hang over

                                      kairosgamers

                                        No way i'd let my wife anywhere near this game, even if she wanted to play, which she doesn't.

                                        mllcg
                                          1iceTea

                                            But I can only jungle,it's easy to teach SO jungle but how to play toget her after this,skim do you have any solution for desperate jungler like me?

                                            This comment was edited
                                            not arin

                                              lmao

                                              Bungmangler

                                                dota is me time,
                                                I've got the outside world to do things with her.

                                                par73 ez25

                                                  WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND TELLS YOU TO GET BACK TO THE LANE :'(

                                                  Z0mBi3

                                                    looking for gamer grill :'( k thx bai

                                                    Ascalon This Way [一一ン]

                                                      Its too complicated for her.
                                                      Luckly :D

                                                      A good Online Friend (know each other for 13 Years now) of mine showed dota to his Girlfriend. They played alot of botgames together.
                                                      He became so bad ... Horrible to play with him ...

                                                      best random player in dota 2

                                                        get out you fucking normies REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
                                                        REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

                                                        REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

                                                        Special Agent Dale Cooper

                                                          You've missed an E there.

                                                          This comment was edited
                                                          --══芫︻ 0r d1337

                                                            hilarious reading xD

                                                            A Sneaky Deer.

                                                              If someone already plays dota should you play with them is the question

                                                              ღErica

                                                                I've had more arguments over builds in DotA with my boyfriend than anything else over the past couple years. I also run into a lot of differences between us playing together in how he plays to win and do well, and I just play to have fun, which is something I've noticed a lot in girls playing versus guys.

                                                                I don't think I've ever been more worried about my relationship of several years than that time I played Intelligence Anti-Mage.

                                                                my name jeff

                                                                  dont introduce people to this garbage game

                                                                  ⚡「tΞkkΞX」

                                                                    "Can you really enjoy Dota with somebody that thinks you should build Phase Boots on TA when you are determined that it should be Treads?"

                                                                    absolutely not

                                                                    Haylex

                                                                      My wife hates dota, she hates me playing it from day 1. Its a very complex game to understand and teach someone who is not patient.

                                                                      I always wished she would be a gamer but then no one would take care of the kids :D

                                                                      5k hours on dota and i still hate this game but still play it

                                                                      cat cafe

                                                                        I lost a childhood friend to this game because we couldn't climb out of 1k party mmr that we had been in for over a year and a half. And he said it was my fault for having 500 less party mmr than him. Last we spoke was in August 2015. If I ever again have a boyfriend or girlfriend, I will NEVER introduce them to any moba I play. Ever.

                                                                        M.C.T.

                                                                          31st !!

                                                                          Fyyq

                                                                            lmao

                                                                            9 vs 5

                                                                              What i do if dota is my girlfriend ? do i get arcana from volvo?

                                                                              Greentoa123

                                                                                I still remember supporting my grill who played huskar as phoenix. Good cancerous times. Then she ditched me for My Summer Car feelsbadman

                                                                                ♥RR♥

                                                                                  Treads for TA.

                                                                                  Phoenix

                                                                                    I prefer Phase

                                                                                    Arios+

                                                                                      Dota slowly ruin my life...
                                                                                      But somehow im just keep playing like its the only thing that i can do...

                                                                                      skootah

                                                                                        My wife and I both play together on an almost daily basis. She came from literally ZERO gaming experience (wtf?), and started with the MOST complex and challenging game out there. Props to her for that. In fact, I've TRIED to get her to play OTHER games, but she won't. I show her another game and she says something like, "There's too much going on, it's confusing." SERIOUSLY?!?!? Anyway, I'm glad she plays DOTA.

                                                                                        We frequently get frustrated during games, and often at each other. She says I'm the biggest asshole ever in DOTA, constantly tells me not to yell at people, and says the way I talk to people with less experience doesn't help them get better. And she's 100% right. But it's a game -- DOTA lives in a box for me. It's an experience, an activity to do with my wife, and (most of the time) pretty fun to play (actually, 52.41% of the time according to my win rate). Whatever anger and frustration I express in a game, it ends when the game ends. It's either a W or a L, and no amount of anger after the fact is going to change that. (Yeah, okay, there is some postmortem analysis, and I might still express some frustration there... but you get the point.)

                                                                                        If DOTA makes my life outside of DOTA miserable, I've got bigger problems and probably shouldn't play. If DOTA negatively impacts my relationship with my wife, I think the real problem probably exists OUTSIDE of DOTA. Hell, sometimes when we're mad at each other we'll still play together as a way of saying, "I'm mad at you, but I still love you and want to do things with you."

                                                                                        I also play DOTA with my brother, my IRL best friend, and my brother-in-law. I've raged at all of these people at one point or another. Extreme rage, even. But again, it's a game. Life after the game should not (and for me, is not) impacted by what happens in DOTA.

                                                                                        It's like Vegas. What happens in DOTA stays in DOTA.

                                                                                        Side note: If you really want a GREAT couples game, check out "Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes". 10/10.

                                                                                        [BrOkEn]Estefano

                                                                                          skootah.. great inputs.. :D

                                                                                          ♏ikeeCS ツ

                                                                                            Same title with article from Dotamax?

                                                                                            ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

                                                                                              Sadly dont have partner

                                                                                              Skyride

                                                                                                I'ts GG END if I play dota in my partners company, I only focus on the game and that's pretty much it.

                                                                                                JinX

                                                                                                  где русская адаптация

                                                                                                  Tzuyu

                                                                                                    Well, I just got blamed at by my supposed-to-be significant other when I wasn't able to recall him in time. I chose to keep mum and log out to keep away the awkwardness but it seems that his ego/pride is in the way and doesn't even have the decency to say sorry (I already apologized but he just raged even more - well sue me, I'm not a mind reader and I make mistakes), If your partner is raging and doesn't even know how to lower down his/her ego even if you've apologized, then it's not you who has a problem.